Count your many blessings

So lately I have been feeling like I need to look at all the good in my life rather than complaining all the time like I normally do! Well it all started on Saturday when when I was hanging out with Joslyn at KFC just passing the time till we needed to pick up Cory from work. I noticed a mom with her daughter eating dinner with her dad and you could tell that he bought them dinner because they couldn't. I don't know why but I instantly thought about how it must be hard for her to get a job, and that I should be grateful that I was able to get a job so quickly.

Than at church Bro. Balmforth in my ward talked about a story in the ensign that I had just read on how we should look on the bright side of things rather than complain. And it made me think again about how fortunate I am to have a job at a dental office.

Than randomly on Monday I got a call for an interview for a medical sales rep position. I didn't think that I would have a shot , but was actually really excited for the possibility to make some good money like I use to when I was working at Melaleuca. Then I went and sat in the waiting room and there was an established older gentleman inter-viewing for the same position. I thought "crap, I can't go against someone who actually has experience". But decided to give my best. During the interview process, lets just say it went awful, I don't think they will call me for a second interview.. she basically said there were more qualified applicants, and offered me a job in customer service (slap in the face).. So I walked out feeling horrible, and then I noticed that the waiting room now had at least five people sitting and waiting to be interviewed for the same position, and I saw someone who use to be a MIT with me at Melaleuca.

That was the first time that the economic hardship has really hit me. there were so many people going for this same position. Jobs have always come really easy for me but I knew I wasn't going to get this one, because the best of the best was going to get this job, because the company can be that picky. But even though I felt even crappier, again I had the feeling that I should remember how blessed that I was able to have a job as a front desk receptionist. I mean pay is decent, i get free dental, and I only work 3.5 days out of the week. Yea I wish I could find a job where I don't feel like i'm on the bottom of the totem pole, and that I'm challenged and get great pay like when I lived the corporate life, but I need to focus on the fact that I was fortunate unlike a lot of american to get not only a good high school education but I was able to get a bachelors degree, and get a stable job, I'm lucky to have a wonderful supportive husband that when work calls and says they need my help, that he is willing to watch not only our daughter but our nephew because I had promised to watch him, I'm blessed that we can pay our bills that we have and slowly pay the debt that we have to we can try to get ahead. a week ago I wanted to have a melt down because I didn't think we had enough and now I can't help but think we have soo much.

February craziness

February has been a crazy month for us. Seems like life is on fast forward in the Sayre home. Both Cory and I are working now, and we both switch off taking care of Joslyn and the house work on our days off, plus Cory is doing school, and I'm in young womans. So we are constantly busy.. so February decided to through so much busy things at us like, super bowl sunday, valentines day and Presidents day. ha ha

Well Super Bowl Sunday was not a very good memory for us. Brom was very ill and had had two operations because he swallowed one of Joslyn's binky. We were hoping he would turn around and get better even though he was septic. Well as we were driving to Blackfoot to do the whole super bowl fun at my bro. and sis.-in-law's place, we get a call from one of the vets. she said that Brom was getting worse fast, and that now would be a time to say good bye and put him down so he wouldn't suffer any more. So we quickly turned around and stayed with Brom till his last breath.

next was Valentines Day... that was def. a pick me up holiday that Cory and I needed. We both had been feeling down because of the death of Brom. Cory and I got each other presents, but I thinkwe both were more excited watching Joslyn open her presents from us. Cory got her a purple bouncy ball, and i got her a book that reads to her as she turns the pages. My friend and I made an amazing romantic dinner for our hubbys. We made a copy cat chicken madeira from the cheese cake factory, then we did choc. fondue for dessert dipping strawberries, oreos, and marshmallows in the choc. it was all delicious!

Presidents Day so far has been busy with getting income taxes finished off, errands, shoveling more snow, visiting teachers, and getting my house ready for the week. Lets just say my house has been neglected when cory stays home with joslyn. but hey he takes really good care of Joslyn so I can't complain. So maybe I'll be able to catch some shopping before the stores close. But I had to do something fun with joslyn so we built a fort and read books together, and played with our baby dolls! ha ha.. I love this stage... now I just need to figure out how to make her talk. I hope everyone else's February is a lot slower paced and fun than mine has, but I wouldn't trade this moment for anything. I love how close our family is growing with this new stage of our lives.

I'll love you forever

I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite books as a child I'll Love you Forever by Robert Munsch as I caught Joslyn unraveling our toilet paper in the bathroom. I don't know why but she really likes to explore and play in that room. I could get upset but I can't help but laugh and think how cute she is.

Well this has been a pretty emotional month for me. Okay not really, but kind of. This month has been the weaning month. I just didn't taper off like most people because Joslyn just liked nursing and so I just kept at it. But when I would ask how often my friends nursed at 10 months or 11 months old I was nursing much more than they were. Then the holidays came and I did not want to have to deal with her not nursing while traveling on a plane and being in a different house for a couple of weeks. So January became the month. Nursing for 13 months isn't so bad right?!

Well I decided to take one nursing session out at a time and leave the night time nursing to be the last one. Well Joslyn handled it like a pro until I took out the morning time. I did it on a Sunday which wasn't fun. Cory was at work and she was cranky... plus at that time she wasn't liking vitamin D milk too well. But as I pushed the milk she did great. TONIGHT is the first time we put her down with out nursing. I mean we have put her down before for the night with out nursing because of going on a date and the babysitter didn't have the goods, but I would always nurse her once I got back.

Last night I wanted it to be her last good nursing time.. even though she didn't realize it and wouldn't ever remember. But she fell asleep because I had to go pick up Cory from work. the Car always puts her to sleep. So once we got home I woke her up and let her nurse as long as she wants. Truth be told I did it for me.

When I first started to nurse I couldn't understand when my mom would ask me "Don't you just love nursing?" When I first started to nurse it was painful. I couldn't understand why anyone nursed their kids. I seriously would have quit if I didn't have a great husband and a mom to cheer me on. but after two 1/2 months of painful nursing it slowly started to be okay. So then a couple of months it was easy to nurse and then teeth came in and then it hurt again, or the one nigh that Joslyn decided to get nipple confusion because of me working and giving her a bottle. I got huge that night because she wouldn't nurse and it hurt. But now that I've gone through it all I'm glad I didn't quit. If I would have quit I wouldn't get to experience the learning process between a mom and child, or the special moments when you catch a cute side smile while nursing, or when they are just soo anxious to nurse just for comfort and only you can do that. I like to feel needed and to care for someone and Joslyn let me do that this past year and hopefully for a long time.

I know Cory felt a little left out in the beginning and wanted to be able to put Joslyn down for the night but couldn't really because well he didn't have what I have. So tonight I asked him if he wanted to do the honor. I didn't have to ask him twice. He is such a great dad and I hate to admit it but there is no way I could do this on my own or without him. I rely on him way too much. But we said prayers as a family and then Dad tucked Joslyn in her crib. I took a picture to remember that Jan. 16th was the first day of her starting her big girl stage.

Joslyn I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.

One year Mark!

So I know I already posted about Joslyn's 1st Birthday. But we did celebrate it early and we weren't able to go in for her one year doc appointment till this week. But Josie officially turned one while we were in Oklahoma. I wanted to do something special for her so I made rice Krispy treats and stuck a candle in it for her and sang her Happy Birthday on her true day at night Because she was born in the evening.

It was a really weird Christmas for me this year.. I was surrounded by all of my family and Cory was still in Idaho because he had to work Christmas day but that didn't bother me as much as I could help but reflect on last Christmas when our whole focus was on getting ready for our baby girl. We brought her home on Christmas Eve and no present or christmas decoration could make me happier than to be with my little baby! I still can't believe she is one. I thought that it would be so much easier once she turned that magical number but all of a sudden I feel like there is a lot of pressure on me getting pregnant again. I mean I want a family and I want Joslyn to have siblings but I still feel like I just had her, but if I don't get pregnant soon than I could mess up the whole two years spacing, and I don't want to be still getting pregnant in my thirties. I want to be able to have fun by then with my kids rather than taking the back seat all the time. sooo... thanks a whole lot for turning one Joslyn. j.k... no I'm excited but scared. Growing up is full of decisions and responsibility and it's scary.

Well here are Joslyns' one year check up- we changed Doctors. We were going to the Pediactric Center, and we like them ( we really like Dr. Olson) but we just felt like maybe going to our friend Dr. Fackrell. So he did Josie's 1 yr. check up and here it goes:

• Head circumference: 17 inches (25th percentile)
• Weight: 17 pounds (3rd percentile)
• Lenghth: 28 1/2 inches (25th percentile)

Dr. Fackrell was really nice and Cory was really nice but I could help but cry after the appointment. One mainly because shots seem to hurt more for a one year old, and the other is the concern still with her weight. I can't help but feel like I'm failing as a parent and that is why my daughter isn't as chunky as she ought to be. We are weaning her off of nursing and onto vitamin D milk. At first she hated it, and she didn't even care for chocolate milk or warm milk like what was suggested. I just had to keep pushing milk, and she prefers it plain and cold. So hopefully with her taking whole milk this will help her gain the appropriate weight and dr.'s and husbands won't be looking at me like "why isn't she bigger?"

but this is what Joslyn has been up to:

• she has a total of 6 teeth that have cut through (4 on top, 2 on bottom)
• she likes to crawl with this extra wiggle her her hips and shaking her head - very dramatic
• she pulls her self up and walks only with walker, while holding onto a finger, but never by herself.
• she still has a thing for playing with q-tips and tampons
• she loves to wear fake pearls and have mom pretend to put make up on her
• she loves to dance like nobodies business
• she screeches all the time
• her hair finally fits in pig tails- sooo cute!
• she can wave good bye, direct music by waving her arms in the air when music is playing, say milk in sign language, and clap her hands when you say patty cake.
• she will give kisses when you ask, but she will also deny you... she is very selective on who she kisses.
• we let her play with crayons only when she has a binky in she so doesn't eat it.

there are probably tons more that she can do, but I can't remember them all. I hope everyday that I am teaching her what she needs and that I'm not slacking. I am so grateful that I get to stay home with her. I know it is a struggle for us and we can't have whatever we want anymore but have to budget now but it is such a blessing to be a stay at home mom and I take it seriously. I love you Joslyn with all my heart!