I'll love you forever

I couldn't help but think of one of my favorite books as a child I'll Love you Forever by Robert Munsch as I caught Joslyn unraveling our toilet paper in the bathroom. I don't know why but she really likes to explore and play in that room. I could get upset but I can't help but laugh and think how cute she is.

Well this has been a pretty emotional month for me. Okay not really, but kind of. This month has been the weaning month. I just didn't taper off like most people because Joslyn just liked nursing and so I just kept at it. But when I would ask how often my friends nursed at 10 months or 11 months old I was nursing much more than they were. Then the holidays came and I did not want to have to deal with her not nursing while traveling on a plane and being in a different house for a couple of weeks. So January became the month. Nursing for 13 months isn't so bad right?!

Well I decided to take one nursing session out at a time and leave the night time nursing to be the last one. Well Joslyn handled it like a pro until I took out the morning time. I did it on a Sunday which wasn't fun. Cory was at work and she was cranky... plus at that time she wasn't liking vitamin D milk too well. But as I pushed the milk she did great. TONIGHT is the first time we put her down with out nursing. I mean we have put her down before for the night with out nursing because of going on a date and the babysitter didn't have the goods, but I would always nurse her once I got back.

Last night I wanted it to be her last good nursing time.. even though she didn't realize it and wouldn't ever remember. But she fell asleep because I had to go pick up Cory from work. the Car always puts her to sleep. So once we got home I woke her up and let her nurse as long as she wants. Truth be told I did it for me.

When I first started to nurse I couldn't understand when my mom would ask me "Don't you just love nursing?" When I first started to nurse it was painful. I couldn't understand why anyone nursed their kids. I seriously would have quit if I didn't have a great husband and a mom to cheer me on. but after two 1/2 months of painful nursing it slowly started to be okay. So then a couple of months it was easy to nurse and then teeth came in and then it hurt again, or the one nigh that Joslyn decided to get nipple confusion because of me working and giving her a bottle. I got huge that night because she wouldn't nurse and it hurt. But now that I've gone through it all I'm glad I didn't quit. If I would have quit I wouldn't get to experience the learning process between a mom and child, or the special moments when you catch a cute side smile while nursing, or when they are just soo anxious to nurse just for comfort and only you can do that. I like to feel needed and to care for someone and Joslyn let me do that this past year and hopefully for a long time.

I know Cory felt a little left out in the beginning and wanted to be able to put Joslyn down for the night but couldn't really because well he didn't have what I have. So tonight I asked him if he wanted to do the honor. I didn't have to ask him twice. He is such a great dad and I hate to admit it but there is no way I could do this on my own or without him. I rely on him way too much. But we said prayers as a family and then Dad tucked Joslyn in her crib. I took a picture to remember that Jan. 16th was the first day of her starting her big girl stage.

Joslyn I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.

One year Mark!

So I know I already posted about Joslyn's 1st Birthday. But we did celebrate it early and we weren't able to go in for her one year doc appointment till this week. But Josie officially turned one while we were in Oklahoma. I wanted to do something special for her so I made rice Krispy treats and stuck a candle in it for her and sang her Happy Birthday on her true day at night Because she was born in the evening.

It was a really weird Christmas for me this year.. I was surrounded by all of my family and Cory was still in Idaho because he had to work Christmas day but that didn't bother me as much as I could help but reflect on last Christmas when our whole focus was on getting ready for our baby girl. We brought her home on Christmas Eve and no present or christmas decoration could make me happier than to be with my little baby! I still can't believe she is one. I thought that it would be so much easier once she turned that magical number but all of a sudden I feel like there is a lot of pressure on me getting pregnant again. I mean I want a family and I want Joslyn to have siblings but I still feel like I just had her, but if I don't get pregnant soon than I could mess up the whole two years spacing, and I don't want to be still getting pregnant in my thirties. I want to be able to have fun by then with my kids rather than taking the back seat all the time. sooo... thanks a whole lot for turning one Joslyn. j.k... no I'm excited but scared. Growing up is full of decisions and responsibility and it's scary.

Well here are Joslyns' one year check up- we changed Doctors. We were going to the Pediactric Center, and we like them ( we really like Dr. Olson) but we just felt like maybe going to our friend Dr. Fackrell. So he did Josie's 1 yr. check up and here it goes:

• Head circumference: 17 inches (25th percentile)
• Weight: 17 pounds (3rd percentile)
• Lenghth: 28 1/2 inches (25th percentile)

Dr. Fackrell was really nice and Cory was really nice but I could help but cry after the appointment. One mainly because shots seem to hurt more for a one year old, and the other is the concern still with her weight. I can't help but feel like I'm failing as a parent and that is why my daughter isn't as chunky as she ought to be. We are weaning her off of nursing and onto vitamin D milk. At first she hated it, and she didn't even care for chocolate milk or warm milk like what was suggested. I just had to keep pushing milk, and she prefers it plain and cold. So hopefully with her taking whole milk this will help her gain the appropriate weight and dr.'s and husbands won't be looking at me like "why isn't she bigger?"

but this is what Joslyn has been up to:

• she has a total of 6 teeth that have cut through (4 on top, 2 on bottom)
• she likes to crawl with this extra wiggle her her hips and shaking her head - very dramatic
• she pulls her self up and walks only with walker, while holding onto a finger, but never by herself.
• she still has a thing for playing with q-tips and tampons
• she loves to wear fake pearls and have mom pretend to put make up on her
• she loves to dance like nobodies business
• she screeches all the time
• her hair finally fits in pig tails- sooo cute!
• she can wave good bye, direct music by waving her arms in the air when music is playing, say milk in sign language, and clap her hands when you say patty cake.
• she will give kisses when you ask, but she will also deny you... she is very selective on who she kisses.
• we let her play with crayons only when she has a binky in she so doesn't eat it.

there are probably tons more that she can do, but I can't remember them all. I hope everyday that I am teaching her what she needs and that I'm not slacking. I am so grateful that I get to stay home with her. I know it is a struggle for us and we can't have whatever we want anymore but have to budget now but it is such a blessing to be a stay at home mom and I take it seriously. I love you Joslyn with all my heart!